The Onion’s 13 best ever marketing & advertising headlines

If there’s anyone who takes headlines as seriously as advertisers do, it’s The Onion. An episode of This American Life a few years back offers a fantastic glimpse behind the scenes into the satirical war room, where staffers pitch headlines before they invent the stories around them. Over the years The Onion has taken its share of hilarious too-true shots at the worlds of brand and marketing. Here’s a list of 13 of my favourites:

1. Using Amount Of Toothpaste Shown In Commercial A Disgusting Experience
2. Marketing Scientists Successfully Map The Human Heartstrings
3. Better Looking Couple In Commercial Uses Correct Phone Company
4. Marketing Department Changes ‘Put In’ To ‘Infused’
5. Up And Coming Band Trying To Find That ‘Apple Commercial’ Sound
6. Advertising Executive Gets In Touch With Inner-Child Demographic
7. Mom In Commercial Feels Strong Sense Of Accomplishment After Feeding Children Frozen Pizza Rolls
8. Merger Of Advertising Giants Brings Together Largest Collection Of People With No Discernible Skills
9. Woman Feels Guilty After Switching Brands
10. Advertiser Reaches Out To Youth With Off-Set, Mixed-Typography Font
11. New Beer Brand Claims To Be Colder Than Other Beer Brands
12. Nike to Cease Manufacturing Products (will focus entirely on advertising)
13. Ad Industry Veterans Honored With Cola War Memorial